Well this is unusual—I don’t think I’ve ever blogged two days in a row in my entire life!
I want to thank you all so much for your incredible outpouring of love, encouragement, and support regarding my post yesterday. It is so scary to put yourself “out there,” but my heart is happy to know that my words and our story could encourage some of you. That is my sole heart and purpose for writing in this space!
However, I wanted to add a very important addendum to my post yesterday. Thus far, things in my marriage have been restored, and we are happily in a great place at the moment—but I recognize that oftentimes, this unfortunately is not the case . . . and many times, the healing you hope and wait and pray for doesn’t come. I have several dear friends who have faced or are facing martial hurdles that have proven too difficult to overcome, and by no “fault” of their own. I have friends who have tried and prayed and stayed as long as they possibly could, but in the end, it wasn’t enough.
I do not in any way want to convey the message that “God would have healed your marriage had you just done [X].” The sad truth in this fallen world in which we live is that sometimes, you can do all you can to save a marriage, but it’s still not enough. Marriages consist of two people, after all, and it takes two people to make it work through the long haul. God calls us to be obedient to Him—but our obedience is not a formula that equals a “happy ending” as we would define happy ending.
So for those of you who are enduring or have endured the heartache of an abusive spouse, an uncooperative spouse, a spouse who simply walked away or forced you to walk away for the welfare of yourself and/or your children—please know that God is still ever-present and strong and good in those situations too. He loves you dearly. He is working out His holy purposes, even in the midst of the mess and chaos our sin and the sin of others creates on this earth.
Please know that the same God who can heal and resurrect a broken marriage can put you back together again after the end of one . . . whether that end came through a divorce of your choosing, or your spouse’s choosing, or of no other choice.
And please know too that I love you—I was very close to being in those shoes myself. You are brave and strong. Keep leaning on Him to be your eternal hope and know that He holds you in His arms, close to His heart!