This week, I’m overflowing with emotions. It’s an all the feels kind of week, as well as a busy/stressful/overwhelming week (thus the brevity of this post!).
This week, we officially put our house on the market. All these weeks of cleaning, clearing out, and packing up the clutter finally came to a head in the form of a big blue “For Sale” sign in our yard.
And I’m still trying to process it all.
Waking up Wednesday morning, the full magnitude and significance of the day hit me hard. We’ve talked so much about it these past couple of months, but it really sinks in when that online listing goes live.
As I look at that For Sale sign in our yard, I think of how many times my heart longed for this day over the past nearly 5 years. I spent many a day wondering when or if this day would even come … but just like that, it has.
It reminds me a whole lot of the many, many months I spent waiting for a baby. I banked countless hours whining and crying and complaining over the issue. By God’s grace, I finally learned to lay it down before Him … and so when it did happen? Pure and utter joy.
And it’s this same joy that’s flooded my heart this week. When God comes down and answers the deep cry of your heart with a gentle yes, it’s enough to take your breath away. I am so thankful.
Yet in the same breath I say thank you, I’m must also utter a convicted I’m sorry, as I think of all the days I doubted God’s goodness while my heart longed for home.
On the really hard and lonely days, I charged Him with wrongdoing on account of the fact that this day had not yet arrived. I charged Him with a lack of goodness, a lack of love, and a lack of presence.
But the truth? The truth is so clear and crisp today: He was never doing wrong. He has always been good and loving and present throughout this season.
He was working out good things, great things, in my heart and the hearts of my loved ones. He was intertwining our lives with some amazing people we will never forget, people we will carry in our hearts when we head back to Georgia.
And all the while, He was diligently planning and orchestrating our return home for just the right day and just the right time.
It reminds me of the heartening words of Ecclesiastes 3:11—
He has made everything beautiful in its time (NIV).
Everything. The things I could understand and the things I could not.
Dear reader, is there something in your life today that’s causing you to doubt God’s goodness? His presence in your life? Are you facing a circumstance that’s tempting you to charge God with wrongdoing?
Hang on in faith. Hang onto whatever sliver of a thread you may have left. God is not doing you wrong, nor is He absent. He has not forgotten you or your pain. He is present and clear-headed in your confusing and frustrating situation.
Hang on in faith while He works. Choose to believe that He is indeed working—in your life and the lives of those around you. Don’t assume you know the end of the story based on whatever’s happened thus far.
Trust His heart and His time … and while you wait, continue allowing Him to make beautiful tomorrow what you cannot understand today.